му єяα ιѕ ησт σνєя уєт.

Indie Korra  || Multi Ship || Multi Verse ||  Semi Selective || 

Text Message RP Memes

[text] Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.

[text] If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes

[text] He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.

[text] I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.

[text] I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.

[text] I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.

[text] I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"

[text] Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?

[text] You can't special order awesome

[text] Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me

[text] Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.

[text] Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter

[text] I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.

[text] it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.

[text] I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.

[text] so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.

[text] Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.

[text] I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense

[text] How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????

[text] My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.

[text] I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises

[text] I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...

[text] Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.

[text] she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex